Well, so far work isn't so bad, my legs seem to be adjusting once again to eight hours of standing. The problem is, who wants to work out when they have been on their feet all day?
I did manage it two days ago, did a half hour treadmill and leg excercises after work. And my lovely wife made me a healthy lunch with apple and carrot sticks. So I felt virtuous after that. Hopefully the trend continues.
I must confess though, work is boring. It would seem that keeping such a standing job would be good for me so that it should keep going. But..... the job itself was a bait and swith, they told me it was managerial and so far it has been the position of glorified clerk. We shall see.
At least I make more than the other clerks.
My fatness seems to rage unabated though.
wish me luck
Friday, November 9, 2007
Tuesday, November 6, 2007
standing hurts
Well, I have officially joined the realm of the gainfully employed and discovered that standing does indeed hurt when done for long periods. I used to know this but the reality was a bit of a slap after seven months of holiday. Oh, holidays, if only they could never end! What this will mean for weight loss is hopefully obvious, sitting all day burns less calories than standing all day. Also there is less access to random junk when you can't eat whenever you like.
In a way though it is disappointing. I think that once again work will have to substitute for my will power so that any future periods of holidays will be uncontrolled free for alls as nothing is learned:(
Of course, that is sort of a disaster prediction that does nothing but discourage so let's pretend you didn't hear it and go back to thinking positive.
I think that if I can stick to my diet while working the weight will come off. I also think that my leg excercises must continue since the old knees definately started creaking by the end.
bleah
In a way though it is disappointing. I think that once again work will have to substitute for my will power so that any future periods of holidays will be uncontrolled free for alls as nothing is learned:(
Of course, that is sort of a disaster prediction that does nothing but discourage so let's pretend you didn't hear it and go back to thinking positive.
I think that if I can stick to my diet while working the weight will come off. I also think that my leg excercises must continue since the old knees definately started creaking by the end.
bleah
Thursday, November 1, 2007
sittin around...
Now, today I realize that I have been sitting around accumulating fat molecules for a couple days. It is appallingly easy to lose whatever little fitness you have stored up. After only a couple days it seems like the excercise is harder and my breathing heavier than ever. The thing that is annoying me is that I know in my head what has to happen, I have no excuse, I even feel like the key to the eating plan has been placed in my sweaty chubby little hand and yet.... action has failed to materialize lately.
It must be psychological.
Dammit.
What would I possibly gain from not acting on all the things that I know make me healthier?
Answer, I don't have to change anything.... is that it? It seems like change would be such an effort. No, that isn't the answer, it doesn't seem right.
Reluctance coming from......????
Well, I am starting a new job on monday, and my selfish voice tells me to sit down and rest now, enjoy the last days of freedom before they are gone since then the holiday will be over.
Is that really going to help when I have to stand at work for hours on my fat little feet? No.
So what is it? I don't know.
Suggestions for this ennui?
I am also thinking that work will force me towards being healthier in order to cope with the demands of work.
wish me luck
It must be psychological.
Dammit.
What would I possibly gain from not acting on all the things that I know make me healthier?
Answer, I don't have to change anything.... is that it? It seems like change would be such an effort. No, that isn't the answer, it doesn't seem right.
Reluctance coming from......????
Well, I am starting a new job on monday, and my selfish voice tells me to sit down and rest now, enjoy the last days of freedom before they are gone since then the holiday will be over.
Is that really going to help when I have to stand at work for hours on my fat little feet? No.
So what is it? I don't know.
Suggestions for this ennui?
I am also thinking that work will force me towards being healthier in order to cope with the demands of work.
wish me luck
Thursday, October 25, 2007
footsteps
I am frustrated with the limits of my body.
The treadmill is awesome and it makes me feel really good to walk on it, until my foot hurts. My foot has developed an annoying habit of getting some kind of sore spot on the bottom when I walk for too long and then I have to rest a few days to heal it. This is frustrating because the rest of me is go go go. And of course stopping ruins the momentum. Must have patience. I can't expect these poor feet to carry my bulk for so long without suffering. My eagerness to get rid of said bulk makes me impatient though. It is a catch 22, you are hurt because of the weight but you can't take off the weight by excercise because you hurt.
bleah
In other news I have colored my hair a sexy shade of red brown called "Carribean Mahogany". Of couse I picked it partly because of the color and partly for the name. I really liked the Carribean and hope to go again and the hair reminds me of it. Also, I am picturing my thin(ner) self with my sexy red hair on the beach which is a great incentive to avoid the halloween candy demons.
We had to get chips since we ate the whole box of halloween chocolate, which is sad as there are two of us and the box had 100 small bars in it. That's fifty each ! and I may have had more than half what with being left alone with them... a tactical error.
I have always relied on excercise for weight loss. My ability to get myself to excercise far outweighs my ability to eat healthy so excercise has been my main weapon. Yet as my joints decide to quit how long is that viable? I know that a serious attempt to manage food has to be made, that is a skill needed in my repetoire. Yet it is one of the most challenging for me. My sister has always seemed to be the opposite. She has been able to manage overall what she eats though when we were younger she didn't really excercise. I think this has changed lately as she likes dance dance revolution and rides a bike. So now to even up the odds I have to learn her eating skill. That way in the battle of the diets I have a better chance;)
The treadmill is awesome and it makes me feel really good to walk on it, until my foot hurts. My foot has developed an annoying habit of getting some kind of sore spot on the bottom when I walk for too long and then I have to rest a few days to heal it. This is frustrating because the rest of me is go go go. And of course stopping ruins the momentum. Must have patience. I can't expect these poor feet to carry my bulk for so long without suffering. My eagerness to get rid of said bulk makes me impatient though. It is a catch 22, you are hurt because of the weight but you can't take off the weight by excercise because you hurt.
bleah
In other news I have colored my hair a sexy shade of red brown called "Carribean Mahogany". Of couse I picked it partly because of the color and partly for the name. I really liked the Carribean and hope to go again and the hair reminds me of it. Also, I am picturing my thin(ner) self with my sexy red hair on the beach which is a great incentive to avoid the halloween candy demons.
We had to get chips since we ate the whole box of halloween chocolate, which is sad as there are two of us and the box had 100 small bars in it. That's fifty each ! and I may have had more than half what with being left alone with them... a tactical error.
I have always relied on excercise for weight loss. My ability to get myself to excercise far outweighs my ability to eat healthy so excercise has been my main weapon. Yet as my joints decide to quit how long is that viable? I know that a serious attempt to manage food has to be made, that is a skill needed in my repetoire. Yet it is one of the most challenging for me. My sister has always seemed to be the opposite. She has been able to manage overall what she eats though when we were younger she didn't really excercise. I think this has changed lately as she likes dance dance revolution and rides a bike. So now to even up the odds I have to learn her eating skill. That way in the battle of the diets I have a better chance;)
Thursday, October 18, 2007
Halloween
I know you all know what is coming, the sordid tale of Gables vs. the Halloween Candy.
The first tactical error was buying the candy early, you know, because it will sell out right? The second was leaving it on the kitchen table. Once that box was opened it was all over. I think we have eaten probably half of the little candy bars. And of course rooting through it to get the good ones. For us that is the coffee crisp so all the little children will have to eat the hated smarties. Second choice has been the kit kat so that leaves also Aero for the kiddies.
My retreat has consisted of putting the candy downstairs. Out of sight out of mind, right? That seems to work until it crosses your mind then you can hear the little chocolate voices crying from the basement to come and eat them. (yes my candy is possessed, it's halloween candy!)
My record of leaving the candy alone is probably one day.
In the positive side my new shiny treadmill is in the basement too so once I am down there I may as well get on. Two days in a row now I have walked for a whole hour.
That will counteract the chocolate, right? right?!
The first tactical error was buying the candy early, you know, because it will sell out right? The second was leaving it on the kitchen table. Once that box was opened it was all over. I think we have eaten probably half of the little candy bars. And of course rooting through it to get the good ones. For us that is the coffee crisp so all the little children will have to eat the hated smarties. Second choice has been the kit kat so that leaves also Aero for the kiddies.
My retreat has consisted of putting the candy downstairs. Out of sight out of mind, right? That seems to work until it crosses your mind then you can hear the little chocolate voices crying from the basement to come and eat them. (yes my candy is possessed, it's halloween candy!)
My record of leaving the candy alone is probably one day.
In the positive side my new shiny treadmill is in the basement too so once I am down there I may as well get on. Two days in a row now I have walked for a whole hour.
That will counteract the chocolate, right? right?!
Tuesday, October 9, 2007
Treadmill Fairy
Yay! The treadmill fairy has visited me in the night leaving behind a shiny new treadmill!
Wait, no that was what I wished happened. The reality involved a lot more sweating and cursing and dropping of heavey objects and at one point I was the only thing between my wife and death by crushing on the stairwell. It was a workout before we even started! Including the twenty minutes walking around the store trying to find a salesperson.
But, in the end, we got the bastard in the house and down in the basement in all it's shiny new glory. Then we shined it up even more, tightened all the bolts and turned it on.
That part was yay! it is really cool. I took it for a spin last night for the first time and walked for 53 minutes. It was different than walking outside in several obvious ways. For example you can watch the simpsons while walking. I suppose you could do that outside with a portable dvd player and some sort of harness rig. But you would look a tad odd, and in my case probably run into parked cars.
The other big difference was that you have to keep the pace or go flying off the end. Now, I really had no idea how fast I normally walk. It seemed quick but how could I know? Do you ever pay attention to the little slows and rushes that make up a normal walk? My pace must vary without my ever realizing it.
Anyway, today I walked outside for half an hour to get a comparison and I was right, my outside walk was definately slower than my treadmill walk. But my outside walk feels challenging. Yet when I went that fast on the treadmill it seemed slow. Is that because I can see by the numbers that it isn't so fast? Am I confused because of staying in the same place to think I must be going slow and should make more effort? In any case my need for speed is going to back off in favour of my need to bend my knees. I think a moderate pace with a slight incline is a better start than marching full out on the flat, at least at first.
The annoying part is that I am going to have to take my orthotic insoles and move them between shoes for inside and outside walking. Perhaps I should have done that the first time....
oh well
Wait, no that was what I wished happened. The reality involved a lot more sweating and cursing and dropping of heavey objects and at one point I was the only thing between my wife and death by crushing on the stairwell. It was a workout before we even started! Including the twenty minutes walking around the store trying to find a salesperson.
But, in the end, we got the bastard in the house and down in the basement in all it's shiny new glory. Then we shined it up even more, tightened all the bolts and turned it on.
That part was yay! it is really cool. I took it for a spin last night for the first time and walked for 53 minutes. It was different than walking outside in several obvious ways. For example you can watch the simpsons while walking. I suppose you could do that outside with a portable dvd player and some sort of harness rig. But you would look a tad odd, and in my case probably run into parked cars.
The other big difference was that you have to keep the pace or go flying off the end. Now, I really had no idea how fast I normally walk. It seemed quick but how could I know? Do you ever pay attention to the little slows and rushes that make up a normal walk? My pace must vary without my ever realizing it.
Anyway, today I walked outside for half an hour to get a comparison and I was right, my outside walk was definately slower than my treadmill walk. But my outside walk feels challenging. Yet when I went that fast on the treadmill it seemed slow. Is that because I can see by the numbers that it isn't so fast? Am I confused because of staying in the same place to think I must be going slow and should make more effort? In any case my need for speed is going to back off in favour of my need to bend my knees. I think a moderate pace with a slight incline is a better start than marching full out on the flat, at least at first.
The annoying part is that I am going to have to take my orthotic insoles and move them between shoes for inside and outside walking. Perhaps I should have done that the first time....
oh well
Friday, October 5, 2007
Missing treadmill
I have decided that I want to get a treadmill. It is because my current excercise of choice is walking and the weather is getting colder. Now, today we passed a treadmill on sale for 400 bucks. My wife asked me if I wanted to get it, and I said no.
Why?
Because getting it to the car and home and then set up is too much trouble. Or, if you will, excercise.
ha.
I secretly want to get one at some sort of furniture or fitness store where someone will bring it to my home, carry it to the basement and then set it up. Now, you may ask, is this worth the additional six to ten thousand dollars of a service? Probably not. Yet the idea of the gong show that will ensue when we try to get this puppy home is totally discouraging.
Anyone want to express post me a treadmill? Anyone?
Why?
Because getting it to the car and home and then set up is too much trouble. Or, if you will, excercise.
ha.
I secretly want to get one at some sort of furniture or fitness store where someone will bring it to my home, carry it to the basement and then set it up. Now, you may ask, is this worth the additional six to ten thousand dollars of a service? Probably not. Yet the idea of the gong show that will ensue when we try to get this puppy home is totally discouraging.
Anyone want to express post me a treadmill? Anyone?
Thursday, October 4, 2007
mental blocks
I realize this is the same day as my celebration and it is appropriate that they go together. The little sabotage demon is whispering in my ear. As soon as there is some improvement then the panic sets in; is it going to last? how long til I gain it back? that can't be right?
followed by its equally evil opposite; you are doing well, you can afford to cheat, right?
These little monsters work in tandem in the department of self sabotage right by the anxiety lobe of the brain. Mostly I am not consciously aware of them, but there they are sending their evil little messages into my ear. They try to convince me that it is easier to just quit now to get their voices to go away, just get it over with and quit now. They high five each other behind my back. Since I am not usually concentrating on them they must have gotten away with a lot in my past diets.
Not this time. I am onto them and I am conscious of them and that gives me the power ( hahaha mad with power laughing) I know that they are full of it and don't have my best interests at heart and that I don't have to listen. Especially since anthropomorphising them makes me aware of how ridiculous the arguments are. Basically, you might as well fail now and get it over with and save yourself the hassle.
I fart in their general direction!
followed by its equally evil opposite; you are doing well, you can afford to cheat, right?
These little monsters work in tandem in the department of self sabotage right by the anxiety lobe of the brain. Mostly I am not consciously aware of them, but there they are sending their evil little messages into my ear. They try to convince me that it is easier to just quit now to get their voices to go away, just get it over with and quit now. They high five each other behind my back. Since I am not usually concentrating on them they must have gotten away with a lot in my past diets.
Not this time. I am onto them and I am conscious of them and that gives me the power ( hahaha mad with power laughing) I know that they are full of it and don't have my best interests at heart and that I don't have to listen. Especially since anthropomorphising them makes me aware of how ridiculous the arguments are. Basically, you might as well fail now and get it over with and save yourself the hassle.
I fart in their general direction!
achievement
I have succeeded in losing about five to ten pounds. You may be wondering why the ambiguity. Well, my weight has never stayed constant from day to day, it always fluctuated within the same five pounds. My happiness comes from now being in a completely different set of five pounds. muwahahahaha
How did I do it? I shamelessly copied the pastaqueen whose blog I read and started trying the south beach diet. Having never done an official"diet" I am suprised that it actually worked. Of course I should have figured they never would have sold thousands of books if it didn't work at least a little.
I am on day six now. I weighed at the start of day five. That is an amazing loss in four days. ESpecially it was sweet since I was preparing myself mentally to see the same number. I was used to trying to eat healthy and excercise but still see the same number at the scale. My mind was saying that would be okay, that healthy changes were healthy changes regardless of the number and that it would be wrong to quit. I know I would have still been discouraged, I think numbers distract us from the real success, that we are making positive changes. However, I do know that even so I am totally psyched about the numbers. No matter what I tell myself the key to my mental celebration or pity party is still the numbers. I have no control over this reaction. So I have decided not to weigh myself on any schedule. I may not weigh at all for awhile.
I realize if anyone wants to know if I am doing well they want to know the numbers.
Ha, I am not going to tell you.
At least until I fell like weighing myself.
How did I do it? I shamelessly copied the pastaqueen whose blog I read and started trying the south beach diet. Having never done an official"diet" I am suprised that it actually worked. Of course I should have figured they never would have sold thousands of books if it didn't work at least a little.
I am on day six now. I weighed at the start of day five. That is an amazing loss in four days. ESpecially it was sweet since I was preparing myself mentally to see the same number. I was used to trying to eat healthy and excercise but still see the same number at the scale. My mind was saying that would be okay, that healthy changes were healthy changes regardless of the number and that it would be wrong to quit. I know I would have still been discouraged, I think numbers distract us from the real success, that we are making positive changes. However, I do know that even so I am totally psyched about the numbers. No matter what I tell myself the key to my mental celebration or pity party is still the numbers. I have no control over this reaction. So I have decided not to weigh myself on any schedule. I may not weigh at all for awhile.
I realize if anyone wants to know if I am doing well they want to know the numbers.
Ha, I am not going to tell you.
At least until I fell like weighing myself.
Monday, October 1, 2007
cautiously opptimistic
This is the third day of my new regime. As (obviously) a highly suggestible person I have decided to follow my fav bloggers diet and go on the south beach plan. So far so good. It isn't too hard once you get over the first day. There is definately sugar withdrawal. It was wierd. If I give up coffee the headache is expected but the affects of sugar are just as bad. It made my head feel fuzzy to give it up! and my body kept prompting me to find sugar since it knows the feeling will go away. But it only took a day, not even, an afternoon to go away. Since then I have been feeling really really good, even though it is too soon for any weight loss. This I am attributing to the affects of evened out blood sugar. This is supposed to even out your mood. Perhaps it is the power of suggestion but I will take any good effects anyway they come. It is also a good motivator since my sister and Iboth agree the scale can certainly take away any enthusiasm by remaining stubbornly on the same numbers. Then you get the feeling it no longer matters what you do you are doomed to a life of fatness and ineffecutal attempts that depress you. My new resolution is to judge my diet by how good it feels. That is odd hey, a diet making you feel good. So far this one does so it is staying.
It also has had it's moments where I think "wait, can i do this for the rest of my life?" and then I regain reality by doing that one day at a time thing. It isn't hard to think about eating healthy today but thinking about all the days ahead makes the little voices (sponsored by sugar no doubt) start whining that this will be impossible and that it can't be within reason to try to eat healthy forever. That is just as depressing as the evil scale. Now, I also console myself with the idea that I am not locked into some depressing deprivation plan but a flexible meal plan where the idea of splurges is accomodated and that noone is forcing me to give up anything, it is a choice of foods that actually mostly taste good.
As for incentive..
well, yesterday I went to visit a friend who just had a baby in hospital, and let's just say in another ten pounds the chair won't be an option. I had to hold the chair with my hands and press my thighs into it. It was close. I could feel the chair pressing the flab into my bones.
Now if that isn't a reality check what is?
It also has had it's moments where I think "wait, can i do this for the rest of my life?" and then I regain reality by doing that one day at a time thing. It isn't hard to think about eating healthy today but thinking about all the days ahead makes the little voices (sponsored by sugar no doubt) start whining that this will be impossible and that it can't be within reason to try to eat healthy forever. That is just as depressing as the evil scale. Now, I also console myself with the idea that I am not locked into some depressing deprivation plan but a flexible meal plan where the idea of splurges is accomodated and that noone is forcing me to give up anything, it is a choice of foods that actually mostly taste good.
As for incentive..
well, yesterday I went to visit a friend who just had a baby in hospital, and let's just say in another ten pounds the chair won't be an option. I had to hold the chair with my hands and press my thighs into it. It was close. I could feel the chair pressing the flab into my bones.
Now if that isn't a reality check what is?
Friday, September 28, 2007
cucumber
Now, in terms of unhealthy cures for me there is the strange option of the cucumber. Now, my body has some kind of war with the cucumber which leads to severe ....well, stomachly consequences. The one time I ate a cucumber recently I was up until four and lost some real weight because of it. If I ate one every two or three days I bet a million that would lead to weight loss. Perhaps I could then go on to become famous and promote the cucumber diet.
hahahahaha
hahahahaha
try anything
Now, my favorite webblog girl recommends the south beach diet. It is apparently developed for people with cholesterol and heart issues. So perhaps it may work. It can't hurt to try. At this point I will try anything. ANYthing. If anyone has some kind of voodoo cure then that will be me doing it.
frustrated
I weighed myself today, now I made a point of not doing it for awhile, and of excercising and trying to eat right etc. and the weight is exactly the same. So I am frustrated and wondering what is the bloody point if nothing ever ever ever works? Why bother? This is why people turn to lipo and stomach surgery. At least you know something is going to happen.
Anyone know a discount liposuctionist?
Anyone know a discount liposuctionist?
Sunday, September 23, 2007
Junk Food Skirmish
Well, last night we had friends over for games. CSI, Uno (which is an evil, evil game) and of course there was food. It started off with one of our friends who is diabetic also saying that cinnamon in tea will help with processing blood sugar. So we invited them over for tea. Healthy, right? Half way through we decided that since it was a saturday game night we would splurge and have treats... and we all know what treats mean. So we left "the men" home and went to superstore. Now, since my brain had declared this an official healthy eating holiday the basket was full in about five minutes and I ate half a bag of reese peanut butter cups in the car on the way home. When we arrived another friend had put out an emergency call that her car would not start. So we went to help her. Now when your friend is in distress what is the first thing you should you do:
a) leap in the car and go
b) leap in the car and go after checking you have jumper cables
c) grab the doritoes and open them for easy access on the ride over
You can guess which one I went with. Luckily there was still time to check for what we needed while eating doritoes. Multi-tasking!
Today, ironically enough, the doritoes have come back to haunt me. Apparently my body has been getting used to and liking the healthy regime and has retaliated for this lapse with unforgivable bodily functions and endless trips to the toilet. I am thinking this is secretly a good thing, since the lapse wasn't worth it. No junk food really lives up to the hype. It was disappointing and ultimately empty after the initial rush. When we got in the car to go back home all my desire for junk was gone gone gone. Now only the aftermath remains.
c)
a) leap in the car and go
b) leap in the car and go after checking you have jumper cables
c) grab the doritoes and open them for easy access on the ride over
You can guess which one I went with. Luckily there was still time to check for what we needed while eating doritoes. Multi-tasking!
Today, ironically enough, the doritoes have come back to haunt me. Apparently my body has been getting used to and liking the healthy regime and has retaliated for this lapse with unforgivable bodily functions and endless trips to the toilet. I am thinking this is secretly a good thing, since the lapse wasn't worth it. No junk food really lives up to the hype. It was disappointing and ultimately empty after the initial rush. When we got in the car to go back home all my desire for junk was gone gone gone. Now only the aftermath remains.
c)
Monday, September 17, 2007
swelly feet
My feet are swelly. Recently, my oh so smart sister pointed out that there is tons of sodium in pop, esp diet pop. So I have given up pop.
List of things given up so far:
1) bread
2) lagers
3) pop
for those of you who don't know lagers, they are thin cut potatoes deep fried in lager beer that you can get at the barley mill. Yummmy, esp with the dill dip. I have been addicted. One of my greatest victories to date is ordering a side salad instead of lagers.
I have also discovered that cheerios contains modified corn starch. One of the baddest of the bad on doctor oz's list. Yet they are advertised as oh so healthy. The fourth ingredient is sugar. Yet the front of the box proclaims the whole grain oats. sigh, all my food illusions are coming undone. There is nothing healthy to eat anymore.
My love affair with Japan springs from believing that it magically makes you thin. When I lived there I did not start excercising until at least six months after I got there. Yet I started to lose weight before then, that was what gave me the incentive to excercise and continue the loss. I really think the food is just better for you there.
Go figure.
List of things given up so far:
1) bread
2) lagers
3) pop
for those of you who don't know lagers, they are thin cut potatoes deep fried in lager beer that you can get at the barley mill. Yummmy, esp with the dill dip. I have been addicted. One of my greatest victories to date is ordering a side salad instead of lagers.
I have also discovered that cheerios contains modified corn starch. One of the baddest of the bad on doctor oz's list. Yet they are advertised as oh so healthy. The fourth ingredient is sugar. Yet the front of the box proclaims the whole grain oats. sigh, all my food illusions are coming undone. There is nothing healthy to eat anymore.
My love affair with Japan springs from believing that it magically makes you thin. When I lived there I did not start excercising until at least six months after I got there. Yet I started to lose weight before then, that was what gave me the incentive to excercise and continue the loss. I really think the food is just better for you there.
Go figure.
Wednesday, September 12, 2007
Cruising Goal
We are going cruising!!! Yay, this gives me a HUGE incentive. Pictures are going through my mind of me, slender and gorgeous dressed to the nines walking the decks of a fantastic ship soaking in all the admiring glances from fellow passengers. This is totally ego, but hey whatever works!
More practically, I won't have to put the airplane armrests down to prevent my thunder thighs from overflowing into a strangers seat and then sit there tightly contained for the whole uncomfortable flight.
I won't have to turn sideways to get the same thighs past all the bus seats, turning alternately from side to side feeling the seat brush my legs in that annoying way. I hate when things brush my thighs.
I won't have to max out the seatbelt.
I will be able to climb the mayan pyramids after hiking through the jungle to get there.
With my improved circulation the heat won't cause every part of my body to swell up.
Most importantly, I can wear thin people clothes!
This trip is scheduled for next November, our third anniversary.
That gives me a goal and a window to reach it in.
Wish me luck!
More practically, I won't have to put the airplane armrests down to prevent my thunder thighs from overflowing into a strangers seat and then sit there tightly contained for the whole uncomfortable flight.
I won't have to turn sideways to get the same thighs past all the bus seats, turning alternately from side to side feeling the seat brush my legs in that annoying way. I hate when things brush my thighs.
I won't have to max out the seatbelt.
I will be able to climb the mayan pyramids after hiking through the jungle to get there.
With my improved circulation the heat won't cause every part of my body to swell up.
Most importantly, I can wear thin people clothes!
This trip is scheduled for next November, our third anniversary.
That gives me a goal and a window to reach it in.
Wish me luck!
Day 7
Well, I have lost the five pounds from my weekend trip! hurrah. It also seems that those aren't "real" pounds, so my new goal is to lose a completely different set of five pounds.
So far so good today. I went for a thirty minute walk in the park. I love autumn, it has a certain atmosphere that makes you enjoy that last few days you can go outside before winter, the air is crisp and the leaves turning. It was ... I can't think of a good word. Sharp? melancholy? how about just pretty, outside today.
As for food I had organic oatmeal for breakfast, with a sprinkle of brown sugar and then after my walk I had a two cup bowl of low fat chicken rice soup. My tea addiction continues. If I can switch half my tea to green tea than that will help, I hate sugar in green tea. In english tea I looove that sweet taste. I blame my mother who used to make milky sweet tea, and dip her pinky finger in to test the temperature. I think I was ten or eleven then so it is a lifelong addiction. My water consumption needs help too.
I was watching that weight loss contest show last night, the biggest loser. I did notice that there was a huge discrepancy between men and women. The show has each team member weigh in and the team that lost the most weight wins. Now, the woman who lost the most weight in a week lost 13 pounds. The others lost, 9,7 and 10 I think. The numbers for the men however were shocking. One lost 26 pounds! and the guy with the lowest loss had lost 15 pounds. The others lost about 20. Is that fair? hell no. On the other hand, with the heart attack risks for men perhaps that is the universes way of evening out the odds. More women than men survive into their 80's . Maybe I will give up rapid weight loss for the extra retirement years.
In other news, my knee aches on the side in the morning, but the continued physio excercises will perhaps help. I have more excercises now and a total of 8 different things to do daily with my legs.
I also realized that my desire for thin thighs had been detrimental. Apparently all the side leg lifts I did as a teenager and student have caused the muscles on the outside of my leg to pull the knee cap over to the outside. I thought that this would get rid of those saddlebags on the side of the leg. Warning to all, if you do lifts on the outside of the leg make sure you work on the corresponding muscles on the inside.
So far so good today. I went for a thirty minute walk in the park. I love autumn, it has a certain atmosphere that makes you enjoy that last few days you can go outside before winter, the air is crisp and the leaves turning. It was ... I can't think of a good word. Sharp? melancholy? how about just pretty, outside today.
As for food I had organic oatmeal for breakfast, with a sprinkle of brown sugar and then after my walk I had a two cup bowl of low fat chicken rice soup. My tea addiction continues. If I can switch half my tea to green tea than that will help, I hate sugar in green tea. In english tea I looove that sweet taste. I blame my mother who used to make milky sweet tea, and dip her pinky finger in to test the temperature. I think I was ten or eleven then so it is a lifelong addiction. My water consumption needs help too.
I was watching that weight loss contest show last night, the biggest loser. I did notice that there was a huge discrepancy between men and women. The show has each team member weigh in and the team that lost the most weight wins. Now, the woman who lost the most weight in a week lost 13 pounds. The others lost, 9,7 and 10 I think. The numbers for the men however were shocking. One lost 26 pounds! and the guy with the lowest loss had lost 15 pounds. The others lost about 20. Is that fair? hell no. On the other hand, with the heart attack risks for men perhaps that is the universes way of evening out the odds. More women than men survive into their 80's . Maybe I will give up rapid weight loss for the extra retirement years.
In other news, my knee aches on the side in the morning, but the continued physio excercises will perhaps help. I have more excercises now and a total of 8 different things to do daily with my legs.
I also realized that my desire for thin thighs had been detrimental. Apparently all the side leg lifts I did as a teenager and student have caused the muscles on the outside of my leg to pull the knee cap over to the outside. I thought that this would get rid of those saddlebags on the side of the leg. Warning to all, if you do lifts on the outside of the leg make sure you work on the corresponding muscles on the inside.
Sunday, September 9, 2007
90 days
If Mr. Phineas Fog can go around the world in 80 days then I can lose weight in 90.
(if fog is really phog i apologize;)
Back to Oprah, the show previously mentioned had a 90 day makeover challenge by Dr. Oz. Basically if you cut out the wrong foods and add the good as well as take a 30 minute walk once a day you will notice positive changes like more energy and such. I am doing some of what he said combined with some of the core plan from weight watchers. As my spouse is diabetic we are also throwing in some diabetic diet stuff. That means portion control which can be hard. After a meal we catch ourselves looking around for more. As a cook I had learned to make lots as it is easier and that doesn't really give realistic amounts for two people.
So far so good.... ish. This is day four and my wife and I just went for our walk, we actually walked longer than we thought for a total of 40 minutes. As well, I tried out my new shoe inserts which are supposed to correct for my flat feet. My feet feel pretty good. It takes some getting used to but is worth it.
The downfall has been that we are sneaky with ourselves. As we are still not used to smaller portions we catch ourselves looking for more. This has turned into too many cups of tea, hot chocolate and coffee. Now, I am not sure that this is actually hunger, perhaps just wanting to have something in our mouths. Or perhaps though we are not hungry we are not stuffed which we have been used to. At this moment I am not hungry, but I want to eat. It is like this bizarre separation anxiety from snacks.
My wife is here with a cup of tea.
Hahahaha
(if fog is really phog i apologize;)
Back to Oprah, the show previously mentioned had a 90 day makeover challenge by Dr. Oz. Basically if you cut out the wrong foods and add the good as well as take a 30 minute walk once a day you will notice positive changes like more energy and such. I am doing some of what he said combined with some of the core plan from weight watchers. As my spouse is diabetic we are also throwing in some diabetic diet stuff. That means portion control which can be hard. After a meal we catch ourselves looking around for more. As a cook I had learned to make lots as it is easier and that doesn't really give realistic amounts for two people.
So far so good.... ish. This is day four and my wife and I just went for our walk, we actually walked longer than we thought for a total of 40 minutes. As well, I tried out my new shoe inserts which are supposed to correct for my flat feet. My feet feel pretty good. It takes some getting used to but is worth it.
The downfall has been that we are sneaky with ourselves. As we are still not used to smaller portions we catch ourselves looking for more. This has turned into too many cups of tea, hot chocolate and coffee. Now, I am not sure that this is actually hunger, perhaps just wanting to have something in our mouths. Or perhaps though we are not hungry we are not stuffed which we have been used to. At this moment I am not hungry, but I want to eat. It is like this bizarre separation anxiety from snacks.
My wife is here with a cup of tea.
Hahahaha
Wednesday, September 5, 2007
Hopeful
I am having one of those days where you say screw it. I am sick and tired of losing the same five to eight pounds over and over. Apparently I can't drive in a car without gaining weight. I blame the gas stations. Of course, eight hours of car means zilch excercise.
The food wasn't as bad as it could have been. My family is also health conscious and it seemed that the choices weren't bad. That leaves the gas station snacking as the culprit. My advice to anyone going on a road trip: pack a lunch. That goes back to what everyone is saying, fail to plan you plan to fail. Don't think that it was the fault of the poor choices entirely, oh there was indulgences.
Timbits,many.
Pringles, yes.
Beef jerky, two packs. (there and back)
Gummy bears, whole bag.
One night of ice cream madness!
Many many diet pepsis.
Now I feel sad that the weight came back. And I was saying to myself, this sucks, why doesn't this work, why bother I am tired of trying and failing.
Now, looking at the above, can I honestly say I tried? No. Definately not. None of those foods are on my approved list, so yes the same pounds came back. Again. At least they weren't on top of the pounds I never lost. Yes, I failed. And at this very moment I have intentions of compounding that by going out tonight for wings with friends. Now, I am telling myself that this is my last big splurge. Is that true? Time will tell. My flaw is that I want this to be easy.
Dr. Phil has a weight loss book. It is really good (if you put it in practice) and it talks about the "locus of control" which means what sort of thinking you put on your weight. If you are an internally driven person then you feel that it is your fault and you will succeed by changing yourself. If you think it is the fault of the universe and cutlture etc. then you change surroundings and think about influences and how you are really in control. Apparently both these types of thinkers will lose weight.
I fell into the third category (judging by the quizz) which is the "chance" category. This means you think that everything is chance and can't possibly be influenced. Now, historically it has seemed to me that weight loss magically happened to me for reasons beyond my control. I moved countries and had a healthy lifestyle and all this weight magically came off. It did seem to take no work on my part and I didn't learn any sort of self governance that would lead to sustained weight loss. In university I had friends that worked out and I went with them and "magically" lost weight again. Now I keep thinking that God or whoever will send another mysterious set of circumstances that will lead to a healthy lifestyle without me having to grow or change as a person. It seems that my plan has been the "lazyness" plan up til now. According to Dr. Phil the chance person has the least liklihood of losing weight.
Buggar.
The food wasn't as bad as it could have been. My family is also health conscious and it seemed that the choices weren't bad. That leaves the gas station snacking as the culprit. My advice to anyone going on a road trip: pack a lunch. That goes back to what everyone is saying, fail to plan you plan to fail. Don't think that it was the fault of the poor choices entirely, oh there was indulgences.
Timbits,many.
Pringles, yes.
Beef jerky, two packs. (there and back)
Gummy bears, whole bag.
One night of ice cream madness!
Many many diet pepsis.
Now I feel sad that the weight came back. And I was saying to myself, this sucks, why doesn't this work, why bother I am tired of trying and failing.
Now, looking at the above, can I honestly say I tried? No. Definately not. None of those foods are on my approved list, so yes the same pounds came back. Again. At least they weren't on top of the pounds I never lost. Yes, I failed. And at this very moment I have intentions of compounding that by going out tonight for wings with friends. Now, I am telling myself that this is my last big splurge. Is that true? Time will tell. My flaw is that I want this to be easy.
Dr. Phil has a weight loss book. It is really good (if you put it in practice) and it talks about the "locus of control" which means what sort of thinking you put on your weight. If you are an internally driven person then you feel that it is your fault and you will succeed by changing yourself. If you think it is the fault of the universe and cutlture etc. then you change surroundings and think about influences and how you are really in control. Apparently both these types of thinkers will lose weight.
I fell into the third category (judging by the quizz) which is the "chance" category. This means you think that everything is chance and can't possibly be influenced. Now, historically it has seemed to me that weight loss magically happened to me for reasons beyond my control. I moved countries and had a healthy lifestyle and all this weight magically came off. It did seem to take no work on my part and I didn't learn any sort of self governance that would lead to sustained weight loss. In university I had friends that worked out and I went with them and "magically" lost weight again. Now I keep thinking that God or whoever will send another mysterious set of circumstances that will lead to a healthy lifestyle without me having to grow or change as a person. It seems that my plan has been the "lazyness" plan up til now. According to Dr. Phil the chance person has the least liklihood of losing weight.
Buggar.
Tuesday, August 28, 2007
There's a plan?
Okay, it seems a plan is required.
So far my plan is : walk every day between 30 min to an hour
: try to make healthier food choices (this is still nebulous but will involve the
core plan foods of weight watchers)
:drink 8 glasses of water, this is proving harder than I thought
: substitute green tea for diet pepsi
Now, in my family knees have been a hereditary problem. Today I saw a physiotherapist who has diagnosed me with knock knees. In order to help this problem I also have a regimen of leg excercises that I am going to supplement with general weights to make a strength component of this program. He did say that it was okay to continue with my walking program but I have to invest in some orthotics to correct the foot. Probably this will be some kind of shoe insert.
He suggested biking.
Now, I do have an inherited bike that my wife adjusted for me, but my gut makes riding it uncomfortable, it is squishing my flubber so that it is hard to breath! And I feel like a gorilla on a tricycle when trying to ride it. I can hear the big top music as I circle the alley.
So far my plan is : walk every day between 30 min to an hour
: try to make healthier food choices (this is still nebulous but will involve the
core plan foods of weight watchers)
:drink 8 glasses of water, this is proving harder than I thought
: substitute green tea for diet pepsi
Now, in my family knees have been a hereditary problem. Today I saw a physiotherapist who has diagnosed me with knock knees. In order to help this problem I also have a regimen of leg excercises that I am going to supplement with general weights to make a strength component of this program. He did say that it was okay to continue with my walking program but I have to invest in some orthotics to correct the foot. Probably this will be some kind of shoe insert.
He suggested biking.
Now, I do have an inherited bike that my wife adjusted for me, but my gut makes riding it uncomfortable, it is squishing my flubber so that it is hard to breath! And I feel like a gorilla on a tricycle when trying to ride it. I can hear the big top music as I circle the alley.
Oprah
Today I watched the Oprah where she brings on her doctor Oz and talks about heart disease.
We all know that heart disease is one of the major reasons to lose weight. Seeing an actual heart operation was a shocker. When we put fats into our bodies it is hard to visualize what that is doing, you get an idea of your body expanding outwards, gaining weight. That is what we see on the outside.
The image that came to me was complicated, it involved the idea that instead of just expanding out we are in fact filling up any empty spaces inside. The heart operation showed the layers of fat actually surrounding the heart! It showed how fat is literally clogging the body.
Now, many people say they eat for emotional reasons, that they are trying to fill the "void" inside them. It really struck me that that is literally what is going on. In a real physical way they are doing something that seem only a psychological metaphor. It blew me away.
I am going to list the things that the doctor gave as his big do's and don't's for putting in your mouth.
Don'ts
Hydrogenated anything
Enriched flour
Sugar aka: sucrose, etc
High fructose corn syrup: this one actually blocks the signal to the brain you are full
Animal fats : these are solid at room temperature and are added to keep food from spoiling
Do's
Garlic
Tomatoes, especially sauce as the good fats will increase absorbtion
Spinach
Pomegranate as fruit or juice
Nuts, raw, store in fridge to keep the good oils
Olive oil, store in fridge as a good oil it is delicate and can also be wreaked by cooking, use as a dressing with garlic and you will be really in the good list!
I think another don't is diet soda. I know that this avoids the high fructose corn syrup of regular soda but it is bad for you. Especially as people drink it in too large amounts.
We all know that heart disease is one of the major reasons to lose weight. Seeing an actual heart operation was a shocker. When we put fats into our bodies it is hard to visualize what that is doing, you get an idea of your body expanding outwards, gaining weight. That is what we see on the outside.
The image that came to me was complicated, it involved the idea that instead of just expanding out we are in fact filling up any empty spaces inside. The heart operation showed the layers of fat actually surrounding the heart! It showed how fat is literally clogging the body.
Now, many people say they eat for emotional reasons, that they are trying to fill the "void" inside them. It really struck me that that is literally what is going on. In a real physical way they are doing something that seem only a psychological metaphor. It blew me away.
I am going to list the things that the doctor gave as his big do's and don't's for putting in your mouth.
Don'ts
Hydrogenated anything
Enriched flour
Sugar aka: sucrose, etc
High fructose corn syrup: this one actually blocks the signal to the brain you are full
Animal fats : these are solid at room temperature and are added to keep food from spoiling
Do's
Garlic
Tomatoes, especially sauce as the good fats will increase absorbtion
Spinach
Pomegranate as fruit or juice
Nuts, raw, store in fridge to keep the good oils
Olive oil, store in fridge as a good oil it is delicate and can also be wreaked by cooking, use as a dressing with garlic and you will be really in the good list!
I think another don't is diet soda. I know that this avoids the high fructose corn syrup of regular soda but it is bad for you. Especially as people drink it in too large amounts.
Sunday, August 26, 2007
Okay, here I am back again which considering my amazing inability to follow through is impressive.
Today I remain baffled by the blog.... but will plod forward with entries until I can figure out something exciting to show you.
So, time to stop procrastinating and discuss the fat at hand.
Yesterday my wife told me she thought I looked thinner! Of course the scale disagreed but that comment kept me going all day. It really really made my whole day joyful and somehow that sense of acomplishment carried me through the whole grocery store with a sense of purpose. There was actually celery in our cart. And fruit. FRUIT! not in frozen form. It really made me realize how much comments affect us. I even felt in control of my budget and spent more wisely, hey I was empowered.
And I wonder why I am so much at the mercy of others. Clearly, in this case the result was good and her encouragement is exactly what is needed. The danger lies in letting others affect our mood when they are ignorant or cruel or even just thoughtless. I am sure that I am not the only one who has ever been teased as a child for weight. Or had a well meaning family member say something about it, even in regards to others when we are listening.
So speak carefully. Some of us are sensitive.
Today I remain baffled by the blog.... but will plod forward with entries until I can figure out something exciting to show you.
So, time to stop procrastinating and discuss the fat at hand.
Yesterday my wife told me she thought I looked thinner! Of course the scale disagreed but that comment kept me going all day. It really really made my whole day joyful and somehow that sense of acomplishment carried me through the whole grocery store with a sense of purpose. There was actually celery in our cart. And fruit. FRUIT! not in frozen form. It really made me realize how much comments affect us. I even felt in control of my budget and spent more wisely, hey I was empowered.
And I wonder why I am so much at the mercy of others. Clearly, in this case the result was good and her encouragement is exactly what is needed. The danger lies in letting others affect our mood when they are ignorant or cruel or even just thoughtless. I am sure that I am not the only one who has ever been teased as a child for weight. Or had a well meaning family member say something about it, even in regards to others when we are listening.
So speak carefully. Some of us are sensitive.
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